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I constantly feel the knot tying tighter in my stomach. I'm knotted with pure confusion. I sat at home waiting to be closer to the ones that truly matter to me. I missed a lot of the people who have made college the best 7 years of my life. And yet, I sit behind my liquid crystal display screen wondering how I could be so complacent. My life has been wonderful. I couldn't have anything better not going for me. Yet, I incessantly yearn for more. Where is my satisfaction? Where is my humbleness I once prided myself on?
My only answer to any of these questions sits inside a garage, parked, and without a host. My vehicles have meant the world to me. Since I can't drive, I fear it has taken a toll on my mental state. My freedom has been stripped, fairly and justly might I add, but I can't stand not being able to support myself. I have always loved the open road. Being able to sing my favorite songs. Introducing myself to new places, new songs, new people. Having the tires guide me to my destination. Letting the speakers fill my ears with the sounds of the times. Taking the air in as it sneaks through the crack I left in my driver side window.
Wanting to drive is the only thing that is keeping my mental state out of check. As soon as my license is returned to me, my life will be back in order.
