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I did it. I blew up on a best friend. It was rough. I've never really done it before, at least not to this degree. But still, it was short lived, aftershocks still rippling. I now find myself on the cusp of new abstract thoughts. I'm wandering inside my divine noggin in small attempts to justify my outrage. Finally, I push my homework and seriously long midterm to divulge my favorite hobby: writing for thought.
The reasons to you all should not be known, and to the person to whom I am speaking of, you already have heard my apology. So now I want to just clear myself a new path. I want to really dive into what it means to be a brother. To be a brother to not only my blood sibling, but my bonded siblings.
I remember bringing my sister home, feeling the newness of her existence. Abstract theories for such a young age were not my strong suit, and honestly, I didn't think too hard on it. I grew up right, raised a couple different ways, eventually just raising myself. My sister followed, and I tried to show her the best way I could what it means to do right and to do wrong. I fancy myself an ethical person, so I dare not say I did wrong. I let her know that I was meant to help, yet let her find her own path. She has done well for the most part, with still that little bit of maturity left to learn.
Then I met a whole new gang, and my world was changed. No longer was I the older brother, but the new, younger, less mature brother. I gained 40 or so new brothers within a few weeks, considerably quicker than the 9 months due for my blood relative. I had different responsibilities now. I was to learn from these new, older siblings, while trying to teach them a thing or two about what I knew. I was the student, no longer the teacher. I was privileged to learn from such a gracious cast in Lambda Chi Alpha-Iota Alpha.
I found myself looking to the older members for new insights, picking their brain when I could. Sometimes, I just sat quiet, learning from their stories. I made my share of mistakes, and yes, those older brothers helped me when necessary. I had an incredible supporting cast to help me when I couldn't find the will to carry on most days. I had an incredible ride with those guys, and it was tough to see them walk away. I knew that their stories and wisdom had passed to me, and I promise to not let them down.
Now, I find myself being the older brother. Sure, I'm 5'8", but my wisdom transcends these shackles of height. I now find myself teaching the younger ones who dare listen to my stories. I've had a wonderful career here, and I'm ready to share my knowledge in attempt to help those after me as I was once taught. I promised to not let down those. And I will do my best. I want these new guys to have the same respect for me as I did for you. I want these new ones to understand that what we have here is special, and to not let it falter at the hands of pleasure.
However, these last few weeks, I have not been my brother's brother. I have not been there when I should have been. I have not been the brother I should be. I've failed in some respects to give these newly initiated brothers a chance to understand more of me and learn from me. Some of you probably have said less than a full paragraph of sentences to me. I apologize for not being able to show you who I am, what I'm about, and what I've done to get here. Please, when appropriate, and through the week if possible, as I have MWF open all dizzzamn day, come grab me and make me talk. I'm a wealth of knowledge. Older guys: heed my message, and do the same. I LOVE YOU ALL
In ZAX,
Deputy 1743
