Serendipity

By choice, I gave you up. By accident, I told you my secret. By complete coincidence, you stopped talking to me. My mind slowly crept upon the idea that your interest level was not piquing. As that moment grew closer to where I knew we were on different levels, I dreaded the moment I had to admit to myself the truth. When it finally arrived, I accepted my fate, giving myself the ample time away from the situation, while wallering in self pity for brief, insecure moments. I had accepted defeat, and finally let myself free of this situation before it took me too far down.

Just when I had given that up. Just when I had lost all hope that I would ever see you again, I found you. Purely by accident. And it all started back again. My hope to have you soon is completely shattered, but in this life, I have to know just where we can go. I have to know what you mean to me in this life, whether it be as friends, more, or less.

Sleeping on Rocks

Before I begin, I think I should take down the shit before this. It is borderline crazy. I hope the person directed at in those words avoids this completely public blog at all costs. Comparable to avoiding the plague.

Diving straight into my latest extravaganza, I realize that I'm slowly going mad without my friends by my side. At first, I blamed it on loneliness without a companion to help my cope. I thought the world revolved around having that other half to stabilize your half (hence "other half"). I thought that maybe my mental capacity was diminishing because I couldn't function without some girl to hold me down.

Recently, my time at home playing video games has shown me some new information. I was beginning to wonder where my friends were. I was beginning to wonder how I can survive this summer without them. I was beginning to wonder how I would get anywhere without them. Now, I realize that my crippling mental capacity was due to not being able to see my friends damn near every day. I can hardly sleep because I haven't spoken to some of my friends in days. My other half isn't laced within some females soul, but spread across a group of people with incredible souls. Later in life, I will find my true other half. I surely do hope. But, for now, my friends have found themselves with the burden of dealing with my newest endeavors.

Fireworks

Of all the times where I could have said something, I didn't. All I've thought about these last few minutes is about how much I didn't say. I sit, wait, and wish I had done something different. In the end, I know only that what happened, happened, and I need to redeem myself. I have given myself the perfect opportunity to make something happen, and I couldn't conjure up the words to even make sense.

Maybe I should just give up and not force it, but fuck that. I wouldn't give up on anything else in life, why start now. I have had you on my mind for 6 fucking months. I'll be damned if I don't see what for. After all, I only knew you for a short period of time. For the last six months I lived in pictures hoping to be next to you. Hoping to be next to you. For the last 6 months, I wished to text you, but I could never find the right words to say. For the last 6 months, I've wanted to seek you out before anyone else. Why is it I still constantly think about you?

Could it be that I've just grown accustomed to seeing your face, or that I want to never let it slip my memory? Is it that I have an infatuation, or is there more to this? Bound and determined  to find out, I shall seek you out every day until I know for certain what I want. Even if this takes multiple visits, I will have my answer.  After all, six months should be a sign.

Rainy Day verses

I've dropped a few lines before,
they seem to me a bore,
So I will write a second piece,
to better conjure up a new peace.
These verses are silly ways to express my new found hope,
as if somebody saw me in a well, then handed me a rope.
I was down for too long, looking for the next great escape,
I was only searching for water, when I fell in the gape.
Had it not been for you, with your rope in hand,
smiling in my direction, your feet planted in land.
You dragged me up, led me to safety,
so here's a question. Call me maybe?

In Limbo

I've honestly had the toughest time trying to figure out what to say.
As if my mind only speaks in rhymes, indicating my words are vague.
I often stand by my words, making sure I release the next genius verse,
instead my voice feels exhausted, my sentences terse.
How am I to swoon such a person? My vocabulary is unbound,
yet,saying the right things never seems to come around.
I'm all a mess, thanks to you I guess,
with these few words, I plainly address,
I haven't the courage to tell you my feelings, for fear of failing,
As if my body could take any more of that constant flailing.
I'll give these words to the masses, so I can plainly confront,
if you read these words from me, it's you that I want.